Read Time:1 Minute, 9 Second



A caller tells me that after breaking up with her boyfriend, she moved in with his parents. Now some years later, she has taken on the role of their daughter while her ex has no connection to the family.

Then we hear from a caller who is using the last 15 minutes of phone privileges he has while in rehab to tell us about his experience thus far, a man in a wheelchair discusses how his disability is perceived, and a final caller struggles with a new nickname.

Also I am going on tour to 9 different cities in the fall to be a gecko and talk to people in person. Buy your tickets here: https://ffm.live/geck22

I am having a hard time beating my high score on Tetris. I am a gecko.

TIMECODES:
0:00 – Intro
0:15 – Adopted by ex’s family
15:07 – Call from rehab
26:55 – How disability is perceived
49:23 – Struggling with a new nickname

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42 thoughts on ““MY EX’S FAMILY ADOPTED ME” – Therapy Gecko

  1. How are people missing the fact that she was 16 working 3 jobs to keep the apartment while he didn't work or pay the fucking bills he loves in his car cuz he's a loser.

  2. Legal adoption is legal she straight up lied about that. If he screwed up there was a specific thing that would cause that. She's super sus. I've known of situations similar to this but this is completely foreign and alien to anything I would expect to be true

  3. Josh, i can hear your frustrain and pain man, im disabled in that i am visually impaired and i feel the same way a lot of the times. its hard to live as a disabled person in an abled world. it kinda sounds like you have emotionally difficult parents and you never got the support and emotional netting one needs when they go out into the world. my asian mom was emotionally difficult in that she was too emotional and i had to help manage her emotions. either ends of the spectrum can really suck. im reading Children of Emotionally Immature Parents right now and it's been helping a lot. it covers distant parents as well and i feel like you would find a lot of healing from it. i know it helped quell some deep seeded issues for how i was raised and her perception of me when i became disabled. i don't know your parents but it kinda sounds like they are unable to manage their emotions and are avoiding it or bottling it up. i think they dont want to have that conversation because it may open the floodgates and that would be catastrophic from years of pent up feelings.Z

    but anyway, with the feeling of loneliness, that is hard. have you ever thought about joining a disabled persons class? i found that its nice to be around people who understand and know where youre coming from. its also nice to be in an accessible environment.
    also with the resilience thing, thats good that you've used that as a tool to keep yourself going. i am really proud of you, as a stranger on the internet. i would also highly encourage you to find something that speaks to you. i know you said you are studying to be an electrical engineer, so finding a hobby like producing music, art or anything that feeds yourself can be ar eally nice balance to that.
    there is this ted talk called how to be happy. and it outlines like, 6 things. spiriitual, relationship, mental, emotional, physical and something else. but if you can find ways to feed those aspects, it'll create a peace that results in happiness.
    if you want to reach out, feel free to comment and i can add you on discord or whatever platform youre currently on. also discord communities are excellent for finding communities and its accessible. but if you dont reach out, just know that that turmoil inside will become something… more. more looks different for everybody but it's inevitable and i hope you know that.

    Something that i've been learning recent;y is that everyone is super self involved so don't expect anything from them. but do try to continue voicing your needs. Something else I've been working through is the high expectations as well. its taken me almost 8 years to come to terms with my limitations, meander at the pace i am alloted and to take advantage of the leeway people do give us. that's something ive always hated, was having to use what resources.
    Just know that this world isn't conducive to despite all the resources, take comfort in knowing that the world will change before our eyes and there will be much more cpmfprtable place in it for us soon. one that will allow us to not just live, but thrive.

    remember, there are some fun times too, you know? i used to have a friend who was also in a wheelchair and we should go to the garge rooftop and smoke weed. one time we got caught and he stashed it in his pouches and while the security knew damn well what we were doing, they didn't press since my friend explained that we were just living life and trying to enjoy the little moments. dude understood what he was trying to say and let us go.

    we had a really good laugh about it afterwards but truly, try to pursue fun and the things that bring you a spark of light. and thats coming from a person who spent a lot of time in the dark.

  4. nah shelby isn’t weird. she has no family to depend on so if an adult comes into her life and creates a stable environment she’s obviously gonna continue that relationship. it’s not her fault her ex has a bad relationship with them and makes bad decisions … unless of course she’s not telling the full truth

  5. So happy to hear a call from a disabled person, he has a similar mindset to me because of what I’ve gone through. I wasn’t born with a disability but have become disabled and it’s been 6 years since I was an able bodied person. It’s incredibly hard and expectations are incredibly low but the empathy I’ve discovered from being given this body is unmatched. Just want to send my love and understanding to that dude and also to any other disabled people 💓

  6. If josh is in this comment section, hit me up man. You sound like one of the most down to earth, well spoken people I’ve ever heard. People and life is so shitty these days and it’s hard to not let that be consuming on top of personal struggles. You’re a gem.

  7. Doood yeah sounds like they were using drugs. She probably was over the drugs first and he kept going, that's kinda unfortunately common. Lol I've done it as a teenager 😅 but yeah that kids family sounds very cool and understanding. I'm sure he's just got trauma and stuck on some bad medicine. Best wishes to these folks 💙

  8. I, like many, initially found call one to be offputting but after a second listen, I can’t help but wonder how old this guy was when they started dating — she said SHE was 16. Surprised Geck just assumed he was as well. If he was an unemployed adult living with a 16 year old with three jobs…I could definitely see this situation being more than reasonable.

  9. Even if Shelby was telling the full truth which she obviously isn’t, why would he want to come home and patch things up if she lives there WTF. If she had 3 jobs she can afford to live on her own. If he was the narcissist then why is she the one hijacking his life and then putting it out there in the internet for strangers to hear. Even if he was a total PoS he was a teenager and cant even try to move on from it because of her he literally had no where to go besides his car. Whos room is she in? How could he sleep under the same roof? The tensions must be high in the household of delusions this girl has created. You cant “legally adopt” and adult. You don’t need guardians at 21. Theres no good reason for her to want that anyway. No rush to leave? Because she doesn’t want this man to heal and move on. Shes taking his actual life hostage. Even if he was a drug addicted thieving liar how can he move on if he has no where to go and no family to support him. She is the reason he won’t try to get back in touch I can almost guarantee it. He’s probably upset his own family picked someone else over him. I just hope they knew the full extent of everything when they did. Weirdo vibes.

  10. Man I’m sure that dude messed up but the whole time I’m listening I’m thinking he must have done something REALLY bad to have his own parents basically disown him and take his ex gfs side… and then she said it’s just cause he’s a narcissistic person?? Like yes I’m sure he did fucked up things but for me to disown my son he would have had to be actually physically or mentally abusive to the point that I can’t reconcile it in my mind. I’ve had family do some ducked up shit to me but I still treat them as family..

  11. Imagine breaking up with ypur gf, and cant ever come to your parents for help because she is already living with them.
    And the fact that she never consider that …

  12. As someone who has parents that chose my friends and ex girlfriends on MULTIPLE occasions. Nothing about them being open to hear from me would make me want to reach out. They made their points loud and clear when they chose someone other than the person their fucking kid

  13. I see alot of comments calling first caller a phoney

    Tbh, to me it sounds like the parents are just real simple folk and probably just not emotionally mature enough to handle patching things up… Likely already stopped talking to his rents, probably underlying issues all around.

    I've physically seen some crazy living arrangements… Some people just literally openly discuss how they can't wait for their 1 remaining parent to die to inherit the house, no functional running water or tv/internet, living in complete piles of literal rotting garbage with their pets who randomly disappeared for years (when in reality the pets got crushed under the trash, and rotted away)…

    Don't judge people solely on their living situation, because I've seen some hellscapes and this doesn't even scratch the surface. Also the conversation is relatable to anyone in some variation of that, so who cares?

    Geck handled it best he could, treated caller with respect, tried to understand the situation and offer advice. That's what matters 🙏!

  14. That first caller is a snake. She straight up stole her boyfriends parents and left him. Who does that! Her attitude.. "I'm living here, I don't need to leave" while calling them mom, dad and sister is ridiculous. There's definitely a financial plus for her in this. She didn't say that either, but I bet they pay for everything and she plays the role of their child.. who's room did she take? The sons room?? So much shady activities going on

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