Getting Fast-Food Salads – Cristela Alonzo: The Half Hour – Full Special

45 thoughts on “Getting Fast-Food Salads – Cristela Alonzo: The Half Hour – Full Special”

1. 

2. my boyfriend once fell asleep first on a vacation with his friends and they saw his crack and put a fucking spoon in it and took a photo… now they call him spoonass

3. longballs syndrome is a serious condition. you cant ride a bicycle

4. Wow!

5. 

6. First time seeing her. Now going to hunt out other specials; she's brilliant. Keep it up, Cris!

7. Whitening strips have a security alarm because one of the biggest thieves are surburbon white women who feel like they can easily get away with it because all people think "the 'guy" with the…" are people who steal.

   I worked at Rite Aid a long time and our biggest thieves were white women with some type of problem who never had any repercusions because we would never report them (yet reported any minority stealers), and teenage girls (also usually white) stealing makeup.

8. Funny and pretty

9. She's FUNNY! RARE. most comedians are boring idiots who expect a rythmic, gratuitous applause…..nice way if saying,… They are idiots. Again,. SHE IS FUNNY!

10. Just saw her two Netflix special, twice each! she is Brilliant! This is earlier material but still so funny. Her timing is implacable.

11. I have diabetes and longballz…. I'm offended and butthurt lmfaoooo jkjk hgih larious

12. I fell asleep waiting for the "comedy" aspect of her set… It was a nice nap.
    When I woke up , she was gone. Good. The "comedy " aspect never came. FAIL

13. I dont find christela funny, female comedians suck

14. not funny

15. She doesnt even sound like Cruz

16. Diabetes & long balls I'm donnne why you eatin chicken bish?! Hellnawwww

17. Wonderful love it

18. Don’t like many female comics but you killed it! (Yes, I am a female)!

19. She is funny

20. LIAR!! Lmfaooo

    That was probably staged she responded too well

21. Really funny!

22. Hella funny.

23. Females are not that funny because they tend to be very angry and want everyone to laugh at it. Aka very feminist.

24. "why you eating chicken bitch?" lol

25. Up until whitey gets it good

26. Naahhh. Almost but no

27. I appreciate the way she thinks!

28. Super funny , thick AND cute… Gotta be a psycho… All love!
    Great job

29. Some people do talk badly about good people.

30. Diseases aren’t « something that sucks » about people. Being Fat is not that either.

31. I love you Cristela my fellow Texican

32. Lotta negative comments on here, i always loved cristela, she's better than the wierd chicks comedy central tries to promote sometimes.

33. she said gas is expensive… lol girl that aged gracefully cause it’s worse now

34. I freaking love her!! She always comes thru.

35. "Drive upstate & pick some apples"

36. Love her. So glad so hit it Big

37. I luuurrrrvvve this grrrl

38. Hilarious and I needed to laugh been home sick with COVID for 4 days. Can’t wait to see what she does in the future. Immediately a super fan.

39. Not the team Jordans

40. You can see her on fluffy’s stand up revolution season 1 episode 6. #Yourewelcome

41. Well I admit she is cute. A face for tv for sure. But not easy to put a Hispanic comedy on TV. Damn near impossible.

42. I thought she was delightful

43. I wanna try standup. This gives me hope. She's not funny.

44. I love her!

45. Funny joke, but even if you were from Mexico, you'd still be American (sorry about the semantics)…

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